• KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
  • MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!

Natalie Dormer’s Favorite ‘First’?

one of the cool perks of my job is that sometimes now i get recognized and i can skip queues at restaurants. I think the first time i got to skip a restaurant line was last year when i went out for brunch in New York.


i feel u

or like i want to

she’s practically an Avenger



"text me when you get home" means "i love you, be safe." 

It really does

  • reading a foreign language you're trying to learn: lol this is easy I understand so much of this
  • trying to construct sentences in that language: wtf am I doing jesus take the wheel where is wiktionary


but why would we ever remove the wisest of our teeth


Top 5 sex positions

  • free shipping
  • direct deposit
  • "sort by price: low to high"
  • track your order
  • 50% off


rei ryugazaki continues to be perfect


rei ryugazaki continues to be perfect

  • Hinata: Wow, nice ass
  • Kageyama: What
  • Hinata: NICE PASS *nervous laughter*


a girl walks by. I say, ’ I wish I had her legs.’ Suddenly there are a pair of legs in in my hand. People are screaming. What have I done